With the 4th of July nearing, I see more physical complaints and I just put 2 and 2 together: it’s the holiday. Yes, every holiday I see these changes in the parents and kids: a bunch of stress. Not only the physical part of a holiday — the planning, the people, the expectation we put on ourselves — but everything that goes with the concept of time.

The 4th of July is the “end.of.the.summer” (have you heard that? Do you say that? If so, STOP!).

What does that even mean? No, it’s not true but in your mind you have started to believe the truth. Our reality starts with an intention, then a thought, so why would you create more drama and angst for yourself even thinking that thought? Do you find yourself being excited for the kids to get out of school, yet annoyed 2 weeks in to the summer? Do you find yourself counting down the days of school, yet when July 4th hits, we start counting down the days left of summer vacation? Do the fun stuff that creates memories; have the downtime that your family needs; go on the mini vacation you have talked about every spring; do what makes YOU happy so that you can be present in the moment with your family.  As we continue to live with these thoughts, year after year, I begin to see more anxiety, pain, discontent, anger, and frustration come from summer. I start to see people sleeping less, complaining of more pain, feeling emotionally tapped/irritated/agitated and we haven’t connected the dots. It’s because of HOW YOU THINK.

This is affecting our health.

We cannot feel Anger and Gratitude at the same time. Anger has a negative vibration (and it’s extremely strong) so Gratitude gets squashed! Whether it’s we haven’t been on a vacation yet, we haven’t been to the lake yet, there hasn’t been any nice weather, school will be starting soon, we haven’t had any downtime because our kids are in a million sports, whatever it is, it seems like this is one of the tipping points of the summer.

The majority of the women I see are moms and we’re pre-framed before we become moms on this whole ‘guilty about the past’ and ‘worried about the future’ and not even realizing that we’re missing the present moment. Our life is meant to be LIVED! Life gives us experiences and memories; perspective and lessons. , and if the only perspective we have is that, “Oh my god, the holiday is coming. I need to do this and this and this and this,” yet never really being happy with that because our expectation is too high, we’re constantly going to feel like an underdog or a victim.

We need to take responsibility for ourselves. Understanding that the experience and the perspective is much more valuable than the stress because the stress takes us out of the present moment, and how that affects us and our health is huge and it’s cumulative. We start to stress out about a holiday, a few weeks before usually, and from what I see people don’t actually move through this until mid to end of July, and then there’s already anxiety coming in to the school year. I don’t know…It seems like we’re filled by shit that doesn’t matter and the shit that doesn’t matter is affecting our health, and when it affects our health, it affects our family’s health. And look at the epidemic.

Have some perspective.

Figure out what your goal for the upcoming holiday is. Let go of what you can’t control, whether it’s the weather, family, time, things and remember that the only thing we can control is what WE say, do and think. Focus on how you can show up and be the best you, you can be, not overextend because then you become the victim. Once we’re the victim, we have no perspective, self-love, self-worth, so take a step back. Slow the hell down. Smell the roses. Enjoy laughs, enjoy the water, enjoy the weather and focus on finding value in the moment.

Love to you all.

Dr. Tiffany

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