Some will say that Clarity is King, but I’m a chic so let’s say QUEEN. ? Understanding how to find clarity in the midst of chaos isn’t always that easy. I hope this will help.
With any stressful life event, perspectives change. Emotions are different. Routines are different. Expectations are different. Life is different. Life gives us a chance to adapt, learn lessons and grow. And all of sudden, some things don’t matter as much. Some matter more.
Family matters more
My team matters more
Time freedom matters more
“No decision is still a decision” I kept telling myself. “Being in limbo is a choice”.
I was stuck in details, thinking I was busy and working on 10 things at one time. When I’m living like this, I’m in the “challenge” of being me. There’s a gift and challenge in all of us and when I’m in the CHALLENGE, I’m a pleaser, I work to prove that I’m really busy (which then means successful?!), I struggle to make a freaking decision and question things (to the point I ask everyone around me what they think). I have stepped out of my body and am just existing in this world.
RED lights blinking. RED flag waving.
Red means Stop. Breathe. Observe. Stop Doing. Feel. Connect. Move.
When I see the red lights, the red flag, I know that Clarity will follow closely after. But I need to do the work, it doesn’t just appear. Then I feel Ease. Flow. Connection. It’s clear to me what decision to make next. I’m not in limbo but extremely decisive. I don’t care what others think when I know. I just know that it’s right. Right for me at that moment. Because I’ve slowed down to ask myself what I want; I’ve grounded myself so I’m not running around with my head cut off; and I’m focusing on one thing, the one things that matters most in that moment. I’m a visionary, a creator. A magnetic connector of people and experiences. This is who I am in my GIFT.
Know your gift and challenge. Spend time on you – the good, bad and ugly! Ask the 5 closest people to you what your top gifts and top challenges are. They are meant to be specific and authentic. “Caring” is not a gift. We are all caring, especially with those we love. A “Good Mom” is not a gift. Ask more questions to find more answers. And for goodness sakes, be open to learning more about the dark side, the shadow, the CHALLENGE. Accept these as part of you (no, that doesn’t mean that you make excuses because of them) but allow them to be a learning tool, something to make you better instead of something you avoid.
When you resist them, they will persist.
So, get started. Get out a blank piece of paper and on the front, start to write the things you notice when you’re SHINING. On the backside, write the things you notice when you’re DARK, DULL. Then ask your friends and family, when your sheet is full. Here is an example of mine. I just did ½ sheets so you can see what I mean.
Be accountable to yourself, to your growth and to your life.
Dr. T
