Let Pain Exist

Let Pain Exist

With the passing of my Uncle Dale last month, there are so many things that remind me of him or lessons coming through his family that resonate with me. I love this video as it can relate to you, no matter how big or small your griefs may be.


Grief comes in many forms, but many people have grieved for years about their health, their life.

“I now have hope”

Because we acknowledge them, all of them – the saucy and the suck. With no judgement or blaming, but open heart and mind. We allow them to feel the pain and talk about the pain because what we know that what we suppress persists.

What we suppress persists.

Being heard helps. And heals.

We need support and understanding, not ignorance and avoidance.

Acknowledging them for who they are and what they feel. No right or wrong, no black and white but just being with them.

We all grieve in our own way yet many people feel unsupported by their loved ones. Society says we should avoid pain, sadness, loneliness and just be happy.

Whether a loss of a parent, child, spouse…a job…health, grieving is grieving. Let’s be better supporters for each other. Some things I’ve learned from various people and experiences:

  • Acknowledge them to talk about how they feel, for as long as they want
  • Don’t fix it by distracting them
  • Encourage them to be in their heartbreak.
  • Don’t convince that “this too shall pass” or “put your big girl panties on” or “you should be happy, you have 2 other kids to love/or another parent”

Let’s make it ok to not be ok because what we suppress persists. That, my friends is what we should be more concerned about – letting go.

Dr. T

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